Brené Brown’s Four Attributes of Empathy

Empathy is important in a wide range of professions but it is paramount in any form of therapy. Most people would appreciate that it is important in psychological therapy but all physical therapists/physiotherapist and those who work with those in pain are taught and, once working in the field, quickly learn from experience that empathy is key to treating any individual.

My first ever university lecture at physiotherapy school was not on anatomy or physiology or pathology. It was on the biopsychosocial model of medicine. Recognising that you have to treat the whole individual, not just the injury or presenting condition.

This is because physiology, sociology and psychology all affect each other directly; a person will not heal unless they feel able to heal or it is in their best interests to do so. This is where placebo, nocebo and beliefs come into physical therapy. It is well established that physical pain and mental pain are highly correlated. For more information on pain, click on the ‘pain‘ tag at the bottom of the page or here, and/or read the posts below.

Read more… Are Physical and Emotional Pain the Same Thing?

Pain isn’t just physical: why many are using painkillers for emotional relief

Is pain in your mind or body? How the answer can help guide your treatment

What is pain and what is happening when we feel it?

How different cultures experience and talk about pain

The other reason you want to display empathy as a physiotherapist is that you are trying to build a therapeutic relationship with your patient and trigger behavioural changes. No one is going to listen to and adhere to a therapist who they think does not understand their pain nor acre about it.

What is the best way to ease someone’s pain and suffering? Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.

Dr Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation-Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work and has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. She is the best-selling author of many books that I recommend on my Books Club page, include Daring Greatly: : How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead; The Gifts of Imperfection; Rising Strong; and most recently, Braving the Wilderness. Brené Brown stumbled on the value of vulnerability, which sounds negative in modern ears, whilst researching the nature of “wholehearted lives”.

Brené Brown came to prominence when she shared what she was learning at a TEDx talk in her hometown of Houston that has become one of the most widely viewed TED talks of all time. In the speech, she defines what she believes empathy is and why it is essential to human interaction.

What is empathy and why is it different from sympathy?

In her TED Talk, Brené Brown states that she believes empathy feeds connection whilst sympathy drives disconnection. She discusses Theresa Wiseman, a nursing scholar, who studied very diverse professions where empathy is relevant and came up with four qualities of empathy:

Empathy Quality 1: Perspective taking

To be able to see the world as others see it

This is the ability to take the perspective of another person and recognise their perspective as their truth.

Empathy Quality 2: Staying out of judgment

To be non-judemental

As Brené Brown recognises, this is not easy when you enjoy it as much as most of us do.

Empathy Quality 3: Recognising emotion in other people

To understand another person’s feelings

Empathy Quality 4: Communicating the emotions of the other person

To communicate the understanding of that person’s feelings

Empathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place

Daniel Pink, author of best sellers Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, The Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The Last Career Guide You’ll Ever Need, and Free Agent Nation: The Future of Working for Yourself.

Empathy is feeling with other persons. Brené Brown states:

I always think of empathy as this kind of sacred space. When someone’s in a deep hole and they shout from the bottom… And we look and we say, “Hey!” And climb down.
Sympathy is, “Ooh!” … “It’s bad, uh-huh?”… “Uh… No. You want a sandwich?”
Empathy is a choice and it’s a vulnerable choice.
In order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.

Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with, “At least…”

We do it all the time because someone shared something with us that was incredibly painful and we’re trying to put a silver lining around their rain cloud.

“I had a miscarriage.”
“At least you know you can get pregnant.”

“I think my marriage is falling apart.”
“At least you have a marriage.”

“John’s getting kicked out of school.”
“At least Sarah is an A-student.”

One of the things we do often in the face of very difficult conversations, and I know I am guilty of this – alongside a lot of men – is to try to make things better. As a therapist, it is likely that the person in front of you has come to you for help but the first step is to show the person that you care and understand.

If they share something with you that’s very difficult, I’d rather you say, “I don’t even know what to say. I’m just so glad you told me.” And then, if in a professional capacity, explain how you are going to work together to solve their difficulty

The truth is rarely can a response make something better.
What makes something better is connection.

Enjoy!
Scott

Read more… Six Myths of Vulnerability

PS. You can see a animated RSA Short below of Dr Brené Brown discussing a genuine empathic connection and her full Ted Talk below that.