Make Every Moment Count?

Last night, I watched the movie, “Angriest Man In Brooklyn” staring Robin Williams (it still makes me sad that he is gone 😢) in which Robin’s character is told by a doctor “having a bad day” (Mila Kunis) that he only has ninety minutes to live.

Cue the obligatory running around town trying to make up for all the wrongs he has committed, especially to his youngest son to whom which he has become estranged.

I find myself reminiscing on a verse from Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s In The Cradle” song, covered so well by Ugly Kid Joe…

“…when you comin’ home son?… I don’t know when…but we’ll get together then Dad…you know we’ll have a good time then…”.

You’re no doubt familiar with the concept that to truly make your life meaningful and impactful, you should live each day as if it was your last.

Future thinking. Deathbed thinking. Write your own obituary thinking.

Make every moment count, and I-mean-every-last-one-darn-it thinking.

You know what I’m talking about.

𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘣𝘰𝘹 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘢𝘨𝘦.

𝘎𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘺𝘮 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺.

𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.

𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘵𝘩, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘳.

Now don’t get me wrong, we should not waste our lives. We should not spend the day neglecting our life’s purpose and instead whittling away at sticks, drawing paintings in the mud with our toes, and staring at the clouds—all while waiting for the next night of sleep to arrive before rinsing, washing, and repeating in a kind-of productive Groundhog Day scenario.

That’s, of course, the polar opposite of living as though each day were your last.

But neither should we feel the intense magnitude of pressure that arises from a constancy of death-bed thinking.

That walk to the mailbox?

Maybe you need to check the weather on your phone while walking, it’s not the time to breathe in every last rose petal particle that wafts into your nose as you pause slack-jawed to watch a beautiful butterfly, and you instead need to be back in the kitchen in two minutes to help your spouse clean the dishes.

That trip to the gym?

Maybe you don’t need to act as though you’ll never get a chance to sweat or lift heavy things again, you feel no urge to shout a Braveheart-esque “FREEDOM!” at the top of your lungs as you bench press the heaviest weight of your life, and maybe you simply desire to crank out a few push-ups and intervals on the rowing machine before you jet back to the office.

Sure, you can be fully present and mindful during that time at the gym, but there’s a difference between presence, mindfulness, and the creation of every second spent exercising into an epic battle movie.

And that family dinner?

Well, perhaps you don’t need to spend every family dinner solemnly discussing the family trust, legacy, and constitution, while raising eloquent toasts to your children with the finest of wines and engaging in an Epicurean feast of masterful cookery and magnificent proportion because…

Who knows?

You gotta make every moment count, right?

This could very well be your last dinner, after which you will crawl up to bed, wiping chicken skin and gravy juices off your face, and pass quietly away of a heart attack in your sleep at 1 AM.

No doubt the issue with this kind of thinking is as clear to you as it seems to me…

It threatens to make life just a bit too dreary, a bit too dark, a bit too dramatic, and a bit too skewed towards a stressful scenario in which every moment must not only count, but also be so absolutely epic that you have no clue how you’ll top it in the next moment…

… perhaps it can include purchasing a new Harley-Davidson to motor out to the mailbox

… finally having the courage to wear that yellowish cheetah-themed leotard suit to the gym

… celebrating the next family dinner with the governor, on a spaceship, wearing top hats.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗠𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁❓

So if you shouldn’t shirk your duties in the joy derived from fully engaging in your life’s purpose, including being with your children, and you also shouldn’t feel the pressure to transform every last second into an epic movie moment—how should you approach this concept of “spending quality time” with loved ones ?

I’ll tell you the answer, and it’s quite simple: don’t feel the pressure to make every moment count. But do try to make every moment memorable. .

That’s right: make every moment memorable.

With that all in mind, it was a lovely sunny day in the south east of England so I ‘made hay whilst the sun shine’ and went out and ran some errand, with my beloved, on our bikes… and also helped out an elderly neighbour.

RIP Robin. You loved a cycle, and you inspired me to get out and use mine today!

Yours optimally,
Scott

NB: Some of the content of this post was taken from the book by Ben Grenfield “Fit Soul: Tools, Tactics & Habits for Optimizing Spiritual Fitness”