There is a theory that pornography has ruined the sex lives of many people because their own sex does not resemble the movie. I think this can apply to other movies and YouTube videos too. We are too used to seeing the highlight reels and the action hero.
The bounce back does not have to be romantic. Your bounce back from a perceived failure or something that did not work out for you does not have to be a Hollywood story. It doesn’t have to be a story that you tell your friends and leaves their mouths on the floor. That is your ego playing tricks on you.
We are all on our own hero’s journey but it doesn’t have to be an action hero. The Rock probably won’t play you in the movie of your life. The movie of your life may be more an art house film. Sometimes, we do need a little bit of being the hero but it can be just that things were f*cked and now they are better.
This is the natural cycle of life. If you trust the process and allow it to flow, those highlights will come and that is when they will be that much more significant.
How often have people told the story of finding a significant other, the perfect job or have a fortunate event happen when they were not looking for it. They woke up that day and it felt just like any other day.
If every story you tell your friends is not always filled with such drama then they will really be like, ‘Woah!’, when you tell them your cool new story. The story is more likely to be, ‘yeah, that didn’t work out so I’m trying something else’.
I’ve certainly had stuff in my life like that. Someone asked me the other day about how I got my current role in elite football as a physiotherapist. My answer wasn’t, ‘I did this and that and then, boom, it fell in my lap’.
The true story is I always wanted to be involved in elite sport, ideally football (soccer). Initially, my qualification was a sport and exercise scientist. I wrote letters to every club in the Football League, every year for 5 years. Eventually, I got a couple of responses. I volunteered my time for three seasons as a strength and conditioning coach at Championship and League 2 clubs. Got my masters in S&C. Then, I got paid very little money and worked part time. Luckily, through the network I had built up, I managed to get a full time role in the top division of the National League, just below the FA Football League. But that only lasted a few months for various reasons, mainly because the club could not afford to keep me. Over the next few years, I did days here and there, at very big clubs. I got job offers, for very little money, but I could not afford to give up the jobs I had that were actually paying the bills. Well, they weren’t paying much but I had a very supportive partner.
‘We’ decided I would requalify as a physiotherapist. That was a 4 year ordeal, to get on and then through the course. Worked evenings, early mornings and weekends doing personal training and bootcamps to help contribute.
Then, in that final year, I applied for a role with Millwall Lionesses. The physio there liked the fact I had football experience and he offered me the job. Still evenings and weekends. When I graduated, I moved up to being the head physiotherapist at the Lionesses.
Just before I finished the course, I got offered a full time role as Assistant First Team and Academy Physio at a League 1 club!
But I turned it down. Being a fresh graduate, it was best for me to go get some national health service experience. But I had many a long night and discussion about it. No one knew what I should do. In the end, it was the best decision for me.
I still kept my hand in football with the Lionesses. There was opportunities to get other full time role within football but I let them pass, they were not right for me at the time.
Five months later, through a chain of events that often happen in football, I was out of that Lionesses job. But, I moved over to doing some weekends with the Millwall Academy. This season, I have moved over to Crystal Palace.
I could probably have that role that I thought I always wanted. I still love football and get a buzz being around it. But I am happy with my life right now. Hollywood is probably not gonna make a movie about the last 15 years of my life. Maybe a French art house film, or one of those slow burners that have loads of pathos.
Often in life, you do not have anything for the highlight reel. Mostly, you are just working on some sh●t. You are bumbling along, and then one day you look back and realise how far you’ve come.
So, don’t go out there and kick the goal. Go out there and ride the tackle, track your runner, do the reps and keep working.
Enjoy,
Scott