I’ve been thinking a lot about endings lately and how terrifying they can be despite us knowing they’re inevitable.
A lot of us know with a path we’re on right now needs to end for us to get to where we are going or else we would already be there.
And this fear of a different life doesn’t come from us being happy with the one we have. It comes from us being afraid of it ever getting any worse.
So we get trapped inside this box and we watch the world spin around us as our own life seems to go on without us actually even in it.
For a large majority of my life, I’ve felt like a stranger behind tinted glass, observing my each and every move. And by being that stranger, I learned to just focus on all the things that could go wrong.
I found comfort in telling myself, if I watch from behind that glass, I would somehow be able to warn myself about life before it really happened.
But it doesn’t work that way.
By focusing on pain before it comes, it doesn’t stop it from coming, it just amplifies it when it does.
We tell ourselves that struggling is a symbol of strength but the strongest thing you’ll ever do is let go.
And when you finally stop trying to carry everything that is pulling you under, you come up to the surface and it’s like breathing for the first time.
In that moment, when you change your perspective of yourself, the world around you changes, right back.
This is the first time in my life, I’ve looked up and not being afraid of how far I have to go.
I know what it feels like to walk to the edge of the cliff with the people you trust the most and feel them push you off.
But I also know what it feels like to get back up.
It’s ironic that it can take losing everything you thought you had to get closer to the person you’re always meant to be and that’s the beauty in working through the darkest times in your life.
You look at backup but this time you’re not afraid of falling.
You’ve seen the bottom with your own eyes you had to work every second of every day to climb out of it.
Now you know your way back up.
Eden Von Weiss
I can definitely relate a lot to this prose and video. Anyone who saw my post the other day on my journey to where I am today will know that I had to lose a lot to get closer to the person that I was always meant to be.
If you missed the Facebook post, I have stuck in below…
Or if you’d rather not look at my hairy mug and listen to it, you can do so here…
Yours optimally,
Scott